Same Shit, Different Continent

Melbourne!

2009-04-16T16:39:00.001+10:00

Hi folks. The smaller Alex and I went to Melbourne for the long Easter weekend, and boy was it great. I sort of want to move to Melbourne and live there forever.

Today I am tired and have a headache, so for now all I am going to do now is include a link to a public album on Facebook where you can see a bunch of photos that I took. Please enjoy!

McAussieGangBang

2009-04-02T11:45:00.001+11:00

I read about the regrettably named McGangBang a while ago and thought I'd make one for myself. Each time I felt this urge I'd talk myself out of it, but last night I didn't change my mind until it was already too late. It's just a McChicken inside of a Double Cheeseburger. Apparently the McChickens in Australia are a fair bit larger than the American McChicken, so mine turned out kind of odd-looking.

It was neither delicious nor horrible. The last picture is a bit deceiving: I wasn't able to eat even half of it.

HOW AWESOME IS MY NEW JACKET

2009-03-29T17:40:00.000+11:00

Two Aussie Alexes at the (mad disappointing) Sydney Greek Festival.

Sydney's superlative skyline and crap-ass Greek festival. I enjoyed the Ouzo and the souvlaki and the baklava, at least.

I enjoyed this advertisement for chocolates. Sometimes I feel like that woman. Very rarely.

DAE-HAN-MIN-GOOK!

2009-03-25T02:28:00.000+11:00

I wrapped up today's temp job early (12:30) so that I could hustle over to the disgusting Cheers Bar on George Street to watch the final game of the World Baseball Classic, which was between Korea and Japan. (Think of them as the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees of baseball.) I made it in time for the bottom of the first inning and watched the whole thing (over four hours, I think) while nursing two beers and a grilled chicken burger.

All of my alleged friends had uncorroborated alibis as to why they couldn't make it, so I watched it alone. Alone with a lot of Asians. For a baseball game showing in the middle of the day, a surprising number of people showed up to watch it, and every single one of them was Asian. Occasionally a white person would wander in, look confused, watch one pitch, and then wander back out shaking his head.

(also pictured: more Asians)

It was a great game, but it ended in tragedy for my beloved Korean baseball team with Ichiro bringing home the winning run for the Japanese in extra innings. The section of the pub that I was sitting in was nearly 100% Korean, so that was nice. They would applaud when the team got hits, etc. All in all they were a bit too sedate, though, considering this was the final of the tournament and it was against their most hated rival. Red Sox fans watching a meaningless game against the Kansas City Royals in April are usually more excited.

The Japanese viewers mostly stayed in the pub's upstairs section. You can see a few of them pictured here. They were even less vocal than the Korean fans, though they were more mean-spirited. There was a disconcerting amount of applause coming from upstairs after the Korean shortstop appeared to be concussed as a result of a head-first slide into second. (Well, I guess I cheered in I think it was 2006 when Matsui broke his wrist, so the Japanese and I are now even.)

Anyway, that is all. Korea lost again, but at least they (we!) made it to the finals this year. The next World Baseball Classic is in 2013, and I am psyched.

I haven't been updating much because not much is happening. My daily life here no longer feels dramatic, it just feels like home. I've still yet to have a single bad day in 2009. I think that's about an 83 day streak of days that I've enjoyed this year, and I'm hoping to keep the chain going. Good days and bad days are so subjective, I find that just staying conscious about appreciating the joy of my own pleasant company keeps me going.

There's this great line in the (hilarious) Amanda Palmer song "Oasis" (link goes to the video) that goes "Oh I've had better days/but I don't care," and it's just kind of a throwaway line, but I think it's so wise. Some days are better and some days are worse, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy them all.

I mean, unless your family just got run over by a cement mixer or something.

Party on Cockatoo Island

2009-03-03T00:26:00.000+11:00

On Sunday I left my camera on the living room coffee table and today I discovered some lovely self-portraits of my roommates.

We've been discussing a chore wheel for about six months. Here it is at last. Note that I am represented by a unicorn ("Majestico"), and my roommates are represented by a dragon and a "flying fairy," ("Stinky" and "Beautiful Fairy," respectively). Since its creation there has been no discussion of the chore wheel.

I can't wait for Maggot Monday.

Everybody on my street got this shockingly obnoxious letter from one of asshole Richard Branson's Virgin companies. To summarize: "we're having an awesome party! let me tell you about it! oh and by the way it's supported by the tax payers! oh and we're going to make noise until 11 PM on Thursday night! and no, you're not invited! cheers!"

Ugh so annoying. Reminds me of this hilarious thing.

Life is so good here. I'm starting to think I'm an idiot for moving back to the US. I suppose I can always come back in as a Canadian.

Australia for Australians (and me)

2009-03-02T13:41:00.004+11:00

After some great weight loss success my stomach and muffin tops have returned due to a week long binge eating bender.

In order to motivate myself to stick to my diet, as of today I am going to donate $10 to famous insane right-wing Aussie politician Pauline Hanson each day that I violate it. (I will keep a running total of how much I've given to that racist monster on this very blog.)

This probably violates Australian campaign finance law, but hopefully neither she nor I will get caught.

Some good Pauline Hanson material from YouTube:

OK, I think that's enough Pauline Hanson for today.

Domestica

2009-02-25T00:35:00.000+11:00

Seppo roommate cooking up some bacon. Note how different bacon is here. So big and fat, like little slices of ham. You're missing out, America!

Seppo roommate also baked this amazing strawberry birthday cake for me. It was absolutely delicious. Note how it features Magnifico the unicorn, the magical beast who serves as my avatar in all household matters.

Since my roommates returned from their holiday, the cat has stopped loving me. I've decided to play hard to get and basically ignore him for a week and see if that brings him back to me. I'm not optomistic. I think he just loves whoever feeds him. I think a steady diet of knuckle sandwiches is in the works.

the family

It's probably very un-pc to have a "tower" burger since 9/11.

2009-02-18T23:58:00.000+11:00

(picture stolen from Chris Bloom)

I've got a hot KFC date tomorrow night. The Tower Burger is back! This thing is the McRib of the southern hemisphere: a gastronomical Halley's Comet whose return is the harbinger of something wonderful--getting to eat a Tower Burger.

Not that I've had one before, but the advertisements are very convincing, and I have heard some excitement coming from trustable Australians. In case you can't tell from the amazing photo, this thing's got a chicken fillet, cheese, lettuce and tomato, and (wait for it) a HASH BROWN. A hash brown right there in the sandwich!

So yeah, as you can tell I've got a lot of exciting stuff going on. Hence the lack of recent updates. Life's still very nice, and 2009 is still the best. Still not a bad day yet. Plus I've got the cushiest job of my life.

The only sour spot is that I turn 26 this weekend, and who needs that? I am very grateful to decadent Western culture and its decree that 30 is the new 20. This has been a good year for personal growth, and I look forward to many more.

Airport Heck

2009-02-04T15:28:00.003+11:00

When I booked my flight home, it was like this:

Sydney -> New Zealand -> Los Angeles -> Boston

Then the NZ->LAX portion got canceled, and a computer rebooked my itinerary to this:

NZ -> SYD -> NZ followed by SYD -> LAX -> BOS (this second leg, departing from Sydney, starting while I'm still in New Zealand). Note that this trip starts in New Zealand. (I live in a different country.)

So I called one of the three airlines involved and got it switched around to SYD -> LAX -> BOS, which is fantastic.

Except I still had the flights to and from New Zealand. Which would have been a nice free bonus, if the flight from NZ leaves before the flight to New Zealand.

In the course of getting this all sorted I found out that my original NZ -> LAX flight was never canceled, just moved forward a day, and I was still booked on that one too.

So, the short version: somehow I wound up with tickets for five different planes for a trip that only involves two flights.

In the end it's all great, though. I won't get home any earlier, but I get to leave later and I now get a full three hour stopover in LAX. Which is to say, I am going to be freaking out in a full-on America overload in the LAX food court for at least an hour.

Gosh I hope there's a Taco Bell and a Sbarro's and a Panda Express.

You're Thirteen, You're Beautiful, and You're Mine

2009-02-01T00:30:00.002+11:00

- I've got some harsh tan lines. On my face. A pasty rectangle on each cheek. Whoops! The one day I neglect to wear sunscreen to the beach. . . I plan to lay out on my balcony tomorrow (New Year's Resolution: get a hot tan), so I expect to be back to normal soon.

- Monday morning is going to be rad as heck. In Australia, Monday morning is Super Bowl Sunday. (And this is the first Super Bowl ever in which an Australian will be playing.) Have convinced at least one friend to skip work to come watch the game in my living room. Will pick up chips (crisps!) dips and soft drinks tomorrow. Then as soon as that's over there will be UFC 94 which I'll have downloaded and ready to go. Monday is going to be a great day for violent American sport.

- Becoming a baseball fan has had the major unintended consequence of withdrawal in the off-season. I am dying for the World Baseball Classic to start in March. I'll of course be rooting for the South Koreans, again. If they get eliminated then Team USA, and if they get eliminated then Australia. (Except that Australia will be eliminated in the first round.)

- I've also become kind of addicted to Lemon, Lime and Bitters, (heh that entry is in the middle of a bitter revert war right now), a fantastic traditional non-alcoholic mixed drink popular down here. Why order alcohol at a pub when there's LLB? I've got this plan wherein I make an enormous jug of the stuff using a full two liters of calorie-free Sprite Zero as the base and drink it while watching television. Perhaps for the Super Bowl? (I will not be sharing.)

- Just booked another plane ticket today. Getting back to the USA on April 30, spending a week in Boston, then going to North Carolina for 26 days of weddings, firearms, barbecue, and minor league baseball.

- Also, am hoping to get to go on one more holiday within Australia. Trying to decide between Melbourne and Uluru/Ayer's Rock. Leaning to Uluru. That trip will be after my temp assignment, for which, as usual, I await, anxiously.

- My always sober flatmates are planning to rent The Wizard of Oz and watch it with Dark Side of the Moon while smoking pot. I am seriously considering smoking pot for the first time in my life because I love all those things. This is kind of momentous.

- I've been here since June and only now have I discovered Jimmy Barnes? I am furious with every single Australian that I've met because of this lapse. What classic Barnsey should I be listening to? Or should I just download his entire discography? Why am I listening to anything other than Barnsey? Is there some sort of biopic I should be hiring from the video shop? Speaking of the video shop, they just sent me a text message to let me know that I get one free new releases rental since this is my BIRTHDAY FESTIVAL MONTH!

Australia is so nice to me!!

Australia Day 1/3

2009-01-27T03:17:00.000+11:00

This year's Australia Day was great!

This would be a great picture if I hadn't framed the pointing kid in the dead center.

Australia Day 2/3

2009-01-27T03:15:00.000+11:00

I call this one "the futility of human existence"

Alex loving Australia

Australia Day 3/3

2009-01-27T03:13:00.000+11:00

Alex looking Christlike

Caturday!

2009-01-24T15:44:00.001+11:00

Here are some photos of "my" [flatmates'] cat, Baxter!

The photos are in chronological order so you can see how he's grown and changed over the past week or so.

It's Dark And Australia Is Hot

2009-01-23T02:25:00.003+11:00

OK gosh. It gets kind of hot here. I'm pretty much dying. Dying and watching Knight Rider. Those are two of my activities. Still unemployed and boy do I want a job if only for the air conditioning. It's hard to want to tan when you spend all day being hot. Boo hoo.

---

So yesterday I was walking home from the grocery store with my shopping bags, wearing my t-shirt that says "AMERICAN" on it in big letters. (I got it at American University, but it cracks me up to wear it out of context here.) Anyway, there's this awesome divey pub on my street, so there are often interesting characters about, and I'm watching home from the grocery store and this scruffy guy red-faced bloke in his mid-thirties is coming up the street in the opposite direction, sees me, stops, makes strong eye-contact with me and says (loudly, very angrily) "THAT is just fucked!" Of course my first thought is Aussie-on-Yank hate crime, so I'm like thinking about where I should be standing when I have to drop my bags and try to sucker-punch him, and in the meantime I ask him what's so fucked.

"You should really buy some of those green, recyclable bags!"

And I said "OK," and kept walking, but I made sure to keep an eye on him as I was still a bit worried about being punched in the back of the head because he did seem really angry.

(I have such an exciting fantasy life! Too much UFC, I think.)

---

It also occurred to me yesterday that, when I go through customs after my flight home, there's going to be a portrait of Obama on the wall instead of Bush. It's going to be strange adjusting to the US again after another three months here. Even my most recent memories of America seem so distant now.

Which reminds me, I bought my ticket home. I leave the morning of 30 April, and arrive in Boston in the evening of April 30.

2009 has been great so far. Every single day (all 23 of them) have been really good. The one small exception was the afternoon that I booked my flight home; I spent the rest of the day just feeling sad. America's my home and it's where I need to be at this stage in my life, but I know I'll want to come back here someday.

---

OK it's 3:14 AM and I am sweating to death. Time to get my clothes out of the dryer and take a cold shower. And then hug the cat. I bet he'll totally freak out if I hug him while I'm still wet and naked and freezing cold!

that day I went to the police museum, cont'd

2009-01-19T21:00:00.000+11:00

My favorite explanatory text in the whole museum. I believe there was also a timeline.

Neat picture.

The other Alex drives the car. The color in this one is a bit weird as her face was entirely in shadow before I played around with it in Photoshop.

The car ride was to see Vicky Christina Barcelona, which was great. (Well, four stars.) It's fun hanging out with another Alex, though it sort of makes me feel like I'm talking to myself as I often address myself in the second person, too.

my kind of museum

2009-01-19T20:44:00.000+11:00

This past weekend the other Alex and I went to Sydney's Justice & Police Museum, which was great. Here are a few of the more interesting weapons from the room of confiscated weapons and scary mugshots.

I highly recommend this museum.

The adorablest pistol.

A hammer that had been used to murder someone, and a meat cleaver used in a suicide attempt.

Yikes.

Extra yikes.

spot the irony!

2009-01-16T13:00:00.000+11:00

OK, so this is something I swiped from my most recent place of employ. (Whoo unemployed again!) (Not for thieving.)

There was one of these in each cubicle. They're made of a squishy foam, but not soft enough to use as a stress sqeezy thing.

On the far side, which you can't see, on the lowest level it says "LPS." I think this stands for "Loss Prevention System," or something to that effect.

Based on my reading on the company intranet, this pyramid represents my former employer's five-pronged system to eliminate loss. (Loss meaning unexpected loss of property or employees' working hours.)

Each of the abbreviations on there stand for a loss prevention tool, but I can't remember what any of them were. Also I seem to recall that a lot of the abbreviations don't make much sense.

Why doest the lowest level have two tools?

What do the colors mean?

Why are two of the top three layers blank?

I'm assuming that whatever consultant charged the company tens of thousands of dollars to develop this this have answers to all of my questions, and that each of these features has some symbolic meaning.

I really enjoy working for large corporations.

What we have here is a failure to communicate:

2009-01-12T20:07:00.000+11:00

So I needed a haircut, but I only wanted about three inches cut off the front, the mullet removed from the back, and the rest to be thinned out. I thought that I did a good job of communicating this to the hairstylist. I even remember being proud of myself for the quality of my instructions. Then I looked into the mirror and all of my hair was gone. Whoops.

Well. I don't think I'll ever be getting my hair cut on this continent again.

the future's so bright i gotta wear shades!

2009-01-02T16:13:00.000+11:00

in regards to this picture, and 2009 in general, i will just say: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

also: sorry about smoking that cigarette, mom :(

also: sorry for choking down that entire can of pre-mixed jim beam and coke, alex

less than a month until the next national binge drinking holiday :/

Xmas 2008 part 1/4

2008-12-27T00:22:00.000+11:00

This Christmas was fantastic. I spent it at a friend's mother's public-housing-house in the city of Orange. Great food, super nice fun people, plus a sprinking of Grade A semi-functional-family drama. It was certainly in my top ten Christmases. Photos follow, split between four posts becaus Picasa doesn't let me include more than four photos per blog post

We picked up some very nice cherries on the way. They had three different types from which to choose! (We went with large, firm, and less sweet.)

Stocking up on liquid courage.

Assorted traditional Christmas paraphernalia.

Xmas 2008 part 2/4

2008-12-27T00:14:00.000+11:00

Sisters preparing food. Mother and boyfriend enjoying the finer things.

Cooking and smoking.

Person shows person shocking video on mobile phone.

Xmas 2008 part 3/4

2008-12-27T00:11:00.000+11:00

The presentation of the Christmas fauxhawk.

Waiting for food.

A sister.

Here you can see some shrimp ("prawn") coctails. This is the only food picture I've got, as by the time the rest of the food (sooo good!) came I was too hungry to take pictures. ALSO NOTE: the erotic cigarette lighter.

Xmas 2008 part 4/4

2008-12-27T00:07:00.000+11:00

The neighbours' house. Note the two cars parked on the lawn.

We all briefly wore traditional Christmas hats, as is the tradition down here.

Here my friend shines an actual class 2 laser directly into his eye.

The aftermath.

Amazing Aborigines cover the land

2008-12-18T02:10:00.002+11:00

This video documents my first attempt to play the didgeridoo. I am a classical wind musician with ten years' training. I am also drunk.

I've lived in Australia for about six and a half months and it was bound to happen eventually. Here I am drunk on Aussie beer (the tastefully trashy Pure Blonde) and Aussie wine (a very strong shiraz) and one of my flatmates had purchased a didgeridoo as a gift for someone (not me). I think this is what scientists of the heart call a perfect storm.

Things are looking up. I'm employed again, I narrowly avoided having to use a credit card cash advance to pay my rent, (though I still needed to use my credit card, if that makes sense), and yadda yadda yadda. Christmas is coming.

My roomies are going to America for six weeks or something though, and I'm going to miss them.

That is all for now. It's 2 AMish and I'm watching my roommate pack. I have to be at work at 8:30 AM.

i wish that today were Stuesday :(

2008-12-09T14:47:00.000+11:00

BOX #2 OF FOODS FROM AMERICA ARRIVED TODAY!!

The Hot Wings/Blue Cheese Doritos bag came open a bit during inspection so of course I had to eat that right away. Had to.

Best food of my life I think.

Unfortunately not everything made it here safely:

Oh pork crackle, I weep for you.

:'(

I also got a nice package from my mother, but it is less photogenic.

That pound of Red Vines will probably kill me.

I think that Smonday counts as an S day

2008-12-08T12:02:00.001+11:00

Today was a good day for getting things in the mail.

I love America.

America!

edit: I just ate a box of Gushers and am at a total loss as to how I used to be able to eat four boxes+ in one sitting. Damnit. Well, I guess this is growing up.

colorful australians

2008-12-07T17:24:00.000+11:00

Behold the third-scariest spider that I've ever seen outside of a zoo. (Number 1 is the previously photographed brown huntsman that lives by the bathroom, number 2 is the smaller-but-still-enormous spider in our living room with which our cat fought to the death (go cat!), and number 4 is the unidentified spider who lives on my ceiling and whose presence I've chosen to accept rather than vacuum. Maybe I just hate vacuuming.

Anyway, this little lady lives on a web that extends off of the top of the hedge in front of the house. She's apparently a harmless St. Andrew's Cross spider, but in Australia all unidentified spiders take on a certain menace, so I was worried at first. (Sydney is full of spiders that can put you into comas.)

Nothing else is new.

my face is like a baby!

2008-12-01T13:51:00.000+11:00

Mustache gone. I feel kind of naked. Also I pledge to stop posting these embarassing emo MySpace photos, 4 serious. I've just been trying to document my mustache and this is the only flattering (well, not flattering in the sense that it makes me look like a wanker) form of self-portraiture I know!

And yeah that "after" photo is hella blown out.

- - -

I'm unemployed, which means I am back to trying to appreciate the game of cricket. I watched a fair amount of the Australia/New Zealand test match this past weekend. I think I'm starting to get it, though I'm still a ways off.

- Some of the catches made by the defense can be pretty spectacular.

- The innings are much longer than baseball's. The last time I watched, Australia was leading New Zealand by about 200 points and I started getting excited, thinking, "Boy, I can't wait for New Zealand's turn at bat to try and fight through that crazy deficit." Then I watched for another half an hour, during which time Australia dragged on as they scored more and more runs. Then I got frustrated and turned off the TV.

I did get to watch the Patriots/Steelers game on live-unemployed-television today. Embarassing loss but boy do American sports telecasts have slick production values. God I miss that dancing Fox football robot.

More bad photos!

2008-11-26T00:29:00.001+11:00

Chilling with my co-fuzzy friend.

Speaking of co-fuzzy friends, is this not the creepiest lottery mascot you ever did see?

Speaking of commercial postings, how great is this? No price listed! Ask for Angela! This was posted at my local supermarket. Angela is either my dream life-partner, or is some horrible bogan. I mean charming bogan. Well, perhaps the two are not mutually exclusive.

Speaking of signs posted at my local supermarket, this guy seems like way more of a wanker than Angela.

bon voyage / pub

2008-11-26T00:20:00.000+11:00

The above buddy just left for a trip around the world that includes three months in Boston, so she invited some friends to a pub to say goodbye.

We met at this fabulous pub, the Robin Hood Hotel. Note that iconic Australian pub architecture.

This is what I ordered. Free prize of your choosing to whoever can first identify my tasty pub food. (Hint: it was tasty.)

More mustache! And terrrible posture. Posture worse than my mustache! I have been following a regimen of push ups to improve my posture and it has been pretty succesful. I am so dull.

sugar and sports

2008-11-22T19:47:00.000+11:00

Went miniature golfing today at Sydney's Olympic Park. Had a lot of fun, but third-worst course of my life, following:

#2. an indoor course in Rocky Mount, North Carolina
#1. a solid plastic course in Normandy, France

(though those were three especially nice times.)

I was the only one of us not to hit a hole in one. One of my friends hit three. I'm not going anywhere with this, I'm just bitter.

I was given a sample box of Cadbury lollies by one of my coworkers on my last day.

* = hated it
** = disliked it
*** = liked it
**** = really liked it
***** = loved it

pictures from tonight

2008-11-22T01:23:00.000+11:00

You can drink in public in Australia, because in Australia there are no police officers.

This picture is rife with subtext. What those ice creams represent?? (I am drunk.)

My namesake gets demonstrative with some cookies and cream.

Mustache rides again.

womanizer woman womanizer you're a womanizer oh womanizer oh you're a womanizer baby you you you ah you you you ah womanizer womanizer womanizer

2008-11-21T00:09:00.001+11:00

I took this photo in the cubicle I occupy at work. The title of this photo is "a couple of things that I hate about boys."

---

So. I've decided to leave Australia and return to the United States about a month early, on April 30, in part to attend a good friend's wedding, and also, I must admit, because I'm missing a lot of stuff back there. I've got no complaints about Australia (except for the postal service!!!), but I've really come to appreciate so many things about America and American culture that I just took for granted while living there.

I will save my full "what I learned about Australia" post for the end of this blog, but I will summarize it like this:

If one were to use the metaphor of hackneyed stereotypes about women to represent both Australia and the United States of America, then Australia would be the hot, shallow high school cheerleader, and the US would be the hooker with a heart of gold. So chew on that for a while.

Anyway, unlike most of my posts here, this post has an actual point.

Due to my having moved up my date of departure, I am now at the halfway point of my stay in this great nation, so this is a good time to write about how my time has gone so far

So I came here for self-discovery, I guess. I didn't know what I was doing in the US, so I figured why not not know what I'm doing somewhere more interesting, somewhere that has koalas, and somewhere that would be different enough that my day-to-day existance would require paying a little more attention. This plan actually turned out exactly as I'd hoped. Having to live more consciously made it easier for me to pay attention to who I am, and I've learned a lot about myself, most of which had been right in front of my face the whole time, but I had to travel halfway around the world to see it. Cliche cliche cliche.

Anyhoozles, the most important thing that I have learned is the importance of setting concrete goals for oneself, that are small enough to be attainable, but lead to some larger goal. This is so that one does not feel like a shiftless fuckup for the rest of one's life.

So I have decided/discovered the following:
- I think that I would like to be a graphic designer of some sort.
- Therefore, I will attempt to expand my skillset/experience/portfolio/etc to the point where I can apply for entry level graphic design jobs at some point, to find out if this is a good plan.

To that end, I have set for myself the following goals:
- Before I leave Australia, using books, downloaded tutorials, etc, to become proficient enough in Photoshop, InDesign, Illustrator, and Dreamweaver that I can claim to be proficient on my resume without setting myself up for horrible embarrasment. So far this is going really well.
- Research a good intro to design course, either to take in Australia or in the United States. (For a variety of reasons I am thinking that the US is a better bet on this front.) This I have not made much progress on.
- Move to New York when I get home. I need a change from Boston, and NY is still near my family. Also, a plurality of both my friends and enemies live there and, last but most, it's the best place for me to go as someone who's exploring graphic design. Plus I have got a pretty solid potential roommate lined up!
- Also I need more money, so I am now on a financial diet and plan to spend my last two months in Australia living and working at some sort of luxury island resort in order to help save. Oh hell yes. Hawaiian shirts are part of the uniform. My lease here goes until February 25, so I will deal with that in February.

So that's it. I'm excited to go back to the US, but I'm not in any hurry to leave here and still look forward to my remaining five and a half months. I'm so stoked to see my friend get married, and already have a super hot date lined up for the wedding.

And finally, in sadder news for me but happier news for said date, I'm starting a new temp assignment next week that sounds interesting and would be a nice job to get extended, so this Monday I will be shaving off the mustache, which I have dubbed "the ole flavor saver."

A lot of the times, when I feel that life is really bad, I forget that life is actually pretty good and it's just my attitude that's bad. (Thanks for the insight, Buddha!)

And that is what is up with me.

what's cooler than being cool

2008-11-18T21:55:00.000+11:00

The booster rocket has been jettisoned, and this eagle is flying solo.

Movember part 1

2008-11-17T19:52:00.000+11:00

As promised, here I am sleazing it up with goatee that I've been sporting for the past several weeks.

"Sporting" is not a word that's part of my regular vocabulary. I think it's best reserved for unfortunate facial hair, along with, perhaps, hats with feathers in them.

This is pretty much the full extent of the facial hair that I am capable of growing.

STILL TO COME!

Mustache!

Perhaps tomorrow. I'm pretty nervous about going out in public with it, but life is for the living.

And, finally, just to reiterate, I am fully aware of how terrible this all looks. I am just taking a little time to enjoy God's rich bounty all over my face, before the harvest comes.

Seafood Hashbrown $1.60

2008-11-12T23:38:00.000+11:00

I see this golf supply store whenever I walk to or from the dvd rental store, and I always get the feeling that the clubs are attending a secret midnight meeting and plotting against us.

Sold at an asian supermarket.

My previous suburb. (Sydney is so spread out that the neighborhoods are called suburbs.)

This pony totally has hipster hair!

OK, terrible blog post BUT. BUT. GOOD STUFF COMING. You see, I am growing this hideous goatee/mustache combo for Movember. (Not that I bothered to try to get any sponsors.) Most likely I will freak out and shave it by the end of the month, but I'm in week two and it looks shockingly bad. I'm planning to give the goatee another four or five days, and then cut back to a classic mustache/SOUL PATCH combo. This will probably be a one day thing, at which point I will retreat to a really sketchy mustache.

All of this is to say, photos of me with pathetic facial hair COMING SOON TO THIS BLOG.

Melbourne Cup

2008-11-04T23:33:00.001+11:00

A woman (name obscured) included this note along with a form she mailed in. So sad. The worst part is that there was absolutely nothing nuisancey about her mailing in the form. Just a standard part of the billing process. It wasn't even late.

Free sandwiches in the cafeteria for the Melbourne Cup viewing party.

One of my coworkers stuck a festive pen in her hair in lieu of the traditional fancy-lady-hat, which many of the other women in the office had pinned to the sides of their heads. This was my view for most of the day. The best was watching it move around when she talked.

Today was the Melbourne Cup, an unofficial national holiday in which just about everybody bets on a horse race. Between the office pool and off-track betting I lost $20 today.

It was pretty dramatic actually. The two horses on which I had the most money, Honolulu and Alessandro Volta, both big underdogs, were in the lead for the majority of the race. And then they were no longer.

On the bright side, I came up big in the office raffle. I won a small canister of shaving cream. I took a picture of it, but who wants to see that?

Golden Gaytime

2008-11-04T23:17:00.000+11:00

My friend from the previous post bought me a Golden Gaytime, which I attempted to deepthroat. I wish I'd also taken a third picture of myself gagging that could have gone in the lower corner.

Unrelated picture.

Bondi

2008-11-04T23:13:00.000+11:00

Went to Bondi Beach this weekend for sculptures and seafood. (It was too cold for any budgie-smuggling.) I also had a deep-fried Mars Bar, whcih was too hot delicious and sticky to photograph. I went with a friend, and we took in a really bad art show of sculptures along the beach. Most of them weren't very interesting. Here are some photos.

OK, this one's cute.

I don't think that my friend is supposed to be doing this.

The original Andy Warhol was uninteresting enough. (Not pictured: he is emerging from a giant soup can.)

I gave up on waiting for people to move away from this sculpture to photograph, and decided to just photoshop them out of it. I can't say it was particularly efficient in terms of time.

Halloween, etc.

2008-11-02T00:20:00.002+11:00

One of my flatties attempting to limbo where she oughtn't be limboing.

Last night was Halloween, which doesn't mean much here. My flatmates and I, along with two friends of theirs (not pictured), donned silly hats and went on a neighborhood pub crawl. (More pictures on Facebook.) Halloween does seem to be catching on here, slowly. We witnessed some trick-or-treating and even tried to do a little ourselves. (Yes, we were Those People. I'm so sorry.) We also ran into a couple of twelve-year-old boys who had been assualted by, in their words, some "lads." We all thought that was adorable. I guess in retrospect it was pretty sad--one of them had a bloody nose--but at the time (drunk) it was just delightful. Anyway, these are the people I live with. If you can call this living.

This is just a photo of a photo that was in the window of a glamor shots type place. I really hope the 90's come back soon.

One of the things I do at work is process these forms. ("DB4's.") Check out this amazingly lame signature. The patient in question was a middle-aged women whose name didn't even contain the letter "I." How sorry is your signature when you have to follow it with a written explanation. What the hell.

Tomorrow I'm finally going to Bondi. And then maybe trekking to Cogee for some tainted gelato.

Gelatogate has been the #1 lunch conversation topic all week at work. I can't stress enough how terrible a lunch conversation topic it is. I hope that once the DNA results come out we can put it all behind us.

yes, I am directly involved in the billing

2008-10-29T21:46:00.000+11:00

I've got the most boring job of my life right now. Also, there is absolutely no internet access, so there's not much to do other than work. It's ridiculous. When I'm doing computer tasks I listen to my iPod, which is great. (See: my Britney Spears post.) But I spend the majority of my time at work on the phone with the Medicare office call center.

So, in order to pass the time a little more happily, I decided to start keeping a list of every single person at Medicare that I've talked to and assign each one a rating of one to five stars. (The quality of the telephoning experience varies widely based on whom you get, and this way I will be able to set my expectations appropriately at the start of the call.)

I'm guessing that by the end of my month here it will be one or two pages longer.

The one other fun thing I do at work (besides breaks for tea and lunch, and drinking lots of terrible instant coffee, black) is customize the look of the terminal program that I use on the computer. It's just a telnet shell thing, and it defaults to a hideous blue and teal color scheme. After a total of probably about half an hour of trying new colors, I've settled on a lovely navy blue background with bold text in white, normal text in a very pale gray, and blinking text in a pale, but not too pale, yellow. My computer terminal looks ridiculously classy. Sadly I can't reproduce it for you here. I'll probably write down the color values and then come up with something new for next week. Something bolder, but still something I can stare at for eight hours.

My other passtime is fiddling with the office supplies.

Voila:

Outside of work, there are these creepy little pigeon/parrot things. Does any of you know what they are? (Other than "creepy.")

And, lastly, here's a picture of the kitten I live with, sitting on my bed. Also pictured: my knee.

oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!

black and white, left to right

2008-10-27T23:50:00.000+11:00

I like this picture I took this in the elevator on the way home from work today. I desparately needed a new facebook profile picture to replace the horribly misguided one I'd taken and posted the night before. This was the first (of two) shots I took, (it's a really short elevator ride), and I barely even glanced at the viewfinder/camera display screen before I took it, so I was very surprised at how well, I think, it turned out. I did clean up a bunch of minor stuff in Photoshop:

- the usual fussing with curves to up the contrast
- my belt buckle was off to the side, so I recentered it (cloning tool)
- there was too much hair in my face so I took some out (cloning tool)
- removed some lint from my jacket (cloning tool)
- took the big ugly boookmark out of the book (cloning tool, smudge tool)
- took the strap off the camera, as it was blocking my lovely neck (cloning tool, smudge tool)
- took the stubble off my lovely neck (dodge tool)
- I had a lot of stuff in my pockets, which looked silly, so I took that out (cloning tool)
- the bright blue lanyard attached to my security pass was hanging out of my pocket, so I took that out (cloning tool)
- unsharp mask to make the picture seem crisper and more in focus

(As I was told when I took those aptitude tests that time), I really do like symmatry a lot.

Work is dull. My roommates and I bought halloween pumpkins, which we hope to carve soon.

Voting/Night Vision Binoc

2008-10-24T23:19:00.000+11:00

Yeah.

So I voted. What an easy choice this time around. I hope it's harder next time.

Also on my ballot:

I still can't stand Frank Smizik.

Oh, and on a similar note, in the U.S. Senate race I voted for the Libertarian candidate just so that I can say that I have now voted against John Kerry for national office three times. (I just couldn't bring myself to cast my protest vote for the Republican in the race.) I'm probably going to switch my party registration to Democratic when I get home. Win me back, Republicans!

And: Americans: please take a moment to thank your lucky stars that you get to live in a country that's served by the United States Postal Service. Australia Post is a horrible horrible practical joke on this otherwise great (except for the rampant racism) country. On top of my previous complaining from yesterday's post:

I approached the counter to airmail mail my ballot back home. The employee tells me it will be about $13, and hands me a flat rate envelope far too small for my ballot. I tell her I don't want to fold it and ask if she has anything bigger. She hands me an enormous $40 flat rate plastic bag. I ask if her if they have anything in-between. She says no. I step out of line and in less than a minute find a flat rate envelope that's just the right size and costs $18. She managed to avoid eye contact with me throughout the entire remainder of the transaction.

The joke's still on me, though: if you also factor in the money I lost, due to the post office's limited hours, from having to take time off of work in order to vote, casting my ballot cost me about $60.

Freedom ain't free.

This is where I work:

This is where I wish I worked:

please change your name

2008-10-24T01:44:00.000+11:00

I came across this unfortunate name at work today.

~!~also~!~

Me: Hey, is it OK if I come in late to work tomorrow, so I can vote?

Supervisor: Vote?

Me: Yeah, my absentee ballot is at the post office, and I can only pick it up during business hours.

Supervisor: Oh right, you've gotta vote for Obama and McCain. . .

Me: Well, I have to choose one of them.

Supervisor: Oh, right.

Me: It's not exactly going to be a difficult decision.

Supervisor: Absolutely not.

p.s. the Britney Spears section of my last post was absolutely not about Australia in any way, so I regret posting it. but my lack of discipline is your gain!

it's like a competition, me against the beat

2008-10-23T02:27:00.000+11:00

I took this by the QVB (the building in the foreground) while waiting for the bus home the other day. Camera on auto, didn't touch anything in Photoshop (besides resizing it). I think it's the best picture I've taken yet with this camera. Well, maybe first-place tie with that one. But come on! So well-composed!

This is my workplace for the next month. My job is the dullest job of my life, but pretty relaxing. It's a one hour commute (more on that later), and I have some interesting workmates. Within my first 15 minutes of my first day, one of my supervisors told me who I would be having tea and lunch with every day, without any prior consultation from that group. They're all smokers (tea and lunch are also their smoke breaks), and are among the younger people who work there. I am still the youngest of the group, though.

Only two of them work in my department. (Accounts.) On day one, I was sitting with the two I knew when the others showed up. One of them is pretty much the most fearsome cougar ever. She walked up to me, stared me down, and asked "who's this?" I introduced myself, offered my hand to shake, and smiled. She gripped my hand tightly and stared at me.

"You have sexy teeth. You could be my boyfriend. . ."

She wouldn't let go of my hand for a while. Honestly, if the genders were reversed I would not feel safe alone in the company parking lot at night. She said she's going to "dress up for [me] tomorrow." Yikes.

In other funny work news: I was 90 minutes late to work today! Like I said, my commute is normally an hour long. That's assuming I get on the right bus. I did not get on the right bus. I wound up in the middle of nowhere, well outside of Sydney, and ended up having to cut across the campus of a university I've never even heard of to look for a bus that would take me to work. I'm mostly annoyed because I'll have to come to work late again on Friday so that I can pick up my absentee ballot and vote Obama way.

The ballot is in a package being held for me at the post office. They will not deliver it. I have to pick it up. The post office is open from 9 to 5, Monday through Friday. Hey, guess when I work. (And remember that I work an hour away from my post office).

This is by far the stupidest thing about Australia.

One last thing, and then it's (waaaay past) bedtime:

So the night before last I could only sleep for about an hour and a half of sleep (don't know why), so the next day (first day of work!) I had lots of bad ideas. One of them, (actually a fantastic idea), was to download the entire discography of Britney Spears in preparation for her new album's imminent release. Which I did. So today at work I listened to Britney's entire oeuvre. Here are my thoughts on it, with links to music videos wherever possible:

(my plan was for this section of the post to be way more detailed, but come on, it's so late!)

1. ...Baby One More Time

This is by far her worst album, and I can't imagine wanting to ever listen to it again. "...Baby One More Time" is, of course, a great and classic pop song (though honestly I am STILL unclear on what the central metaphor (hitting) represents), and the cowbell hook in "(You Drive Me) Crazy" is absolutely brilliant. The rest of the songs are by and large terrible.

BEST SONG WE ALL KNOW: "...Baby One More Time." Come on. None of us youngsters is going to forget those opening three piano chords as long as we live. Because they are so awesome.
SPECIAL SCORN: "E-Mail My Heart" worst song on an album of terrible songs. As bad as the title indicates.
HIDDEN GEM: the completely kooky "The Beat Goes On," which is now in my "happy" playlist. Best Britney cover ever. It's all downhill from here on Britney covers.

2. Oops! ...I Did It Again

This album, specifically the title track, is the first in which Britney really starts to develop the public persona she wanted to project. It is also the last Britney album whose title includes punctuation. Good call. (Virgin/Whore.) Still a pretty virginal album. Fun note: you probably all know that Britney has claimed that the "she's rich but WHY DO THESE TEARS COME AT NIGHT" song "Lucky" is not actually about her. What you may not know is that a short skit precedes the song on the album trying to convince us further that the song's not about her. W/E. We all saw her with that umbrella and know the truth. Oh also, this album introduces the theme of Britney basically rerecording the same song with a slightly different melody and trying to pass it off as new. Most egregious is "What U See (Is What U Get)," which is identical to "...Baby One More Time," only not.

BEST SINGLE: It's got to be the title track. Not that it's a great song, even by Britney standards, but the lyrics are actually pretty good and, as the Richard Thompson interpretation reveals, pretty dark.
WORST SONG: I'm going to shock you all and NOT select the very misguided cover of "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction." The verses are atrocious, but the chorus is a reasonably interesting interpretation, I think. Worst song honors go to "Girl In The Mirror." A treacly ballad about how sad "the girl in my mirror" is. And at first you're like "ooh, clever metaphor." But then it's like 3/4 through and she's all "and that girl is me!!!!!" and you're like "oh jesus, duh." Just sad. Also, like most (all) early Britney ballads, the song is terrible.
SONG DESERVING OF MORE LOVE: OK, I picked a ballad for this one. A cheesy ballad. But I'm going with "Heart." In which Britney sings a reassuring song to her aching heart. I thought it was really sweet.

3. Britney

The first modern Britney album, in which the balance of her persona finally, inevitably, shifts from "virgin" to "whore." (You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.) As an album a definite improvement from Oops! ...I Did It Again, but her best work is yet to come.

OVEREXPOSED BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME: "I'm A Slave 4 U." The album's only other single that I remember is "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman." So this one's pretty easy despite the awful central metaphor here. (Slavery? Really?)
SO BAD IT'S BAD: This goes to "Bombastic Love," which is basically the usual Britney mid-tempo dance thing, but with just the goofiest faux-Disney chorus ever. Which does not really fit into that classic Britney format. Wait. Ugh. Nevermind. OF COURSE it's the "I Love Rock & Roll" cover. That song is like Exhibit A of "Britney hates Rock & Roll."
THE SLEEPER: This is a tough one. This album is not very memorable. I'll go with "Overprotected," which is sort of boilerplate early-Britney mid-tempo dancey. Not that hot.

4. In The Zone

Probably my favorite Britney album, though I've only listened through it two or three times at this point. Britney perfects her character (pre troubles), takes more control of the writing and production, and puts out her strongest individual songs ever. (Note: this was released right before Madonna sucked the life from her at the MTV Music Awards, precipitating her downfall.)

BEST BRITNEY SINGLE EVER: "Everytime." Yeah. You heard me. Not "Toxic." Not that I don't love "Toxic," but it's not a song that I ever really feel a need to listen to nowadays. "Everytime," on the other hand, totally made me tear up a bit once. (NOTE: I WAS ALREADY VERY DEPRESSED.) Anyway I know I don't like her ballads, and this song is sooo far away from her strengths, but boy is it fine. Plus the sensitive youth routine is so much more effective in the context of her newer, more mature, songs as opposed to uh, "E-Mail My Heart." SHE'S WORLD-WEARY, guys!
BLOWIEST BULLSHIT: Best album, easiest choice. "Brave New Girl." Bad rapping, lame attitude, confusing, unmemorable melody, awful lyrics, and, oh yeah, it's titled "Brave New Girl." Seriously this rapping is like, nearly sub-Debbie-Harry-in-"Rapture" level.
MY SECRET LUVR: OK, I almost went with "The Hook Up," because it's got Britney singing in a bad Jamaican accent and also saying "bump ya rump, na," (so good), but I'm going with the mellowed out dance tune "Breathe On Me." I am putting it in a different playlist right now.

5. Blackout

This was the album that Britney released after dying her hair black and going crazy. It's a shame that the dominant story at the time was "Britney's insane!," because everybody just ignored how good the album was since it didn't fit the storyline. To rip-off some other commentary I read, this is her most cohesive album, with the songs all sharing sharing a style (all dance! except for one shitty ballad at the end!) and a pretty uniform level of (high) quality. Even the really goofy stuff (haha, "Toy Soldier,") fits right in there. Also a notable album as she's clearly trying to damage control for her spiralling-out-of-control public image that is increasingly casting doubt on the veracity of her previous persona, and just failing miserably. For example, in "Piece Of Me" she claims that the reason everyone's down on her lately is because she's a working mother. Yikes.

SINGLE OF MY HEART: "Piece Of Me." My favorite Britney song for a while, and probably her most autobiographical, complete with sad delusion. And yet more self-conscious than one might expect. Same producers on this song as "Toxic," and I think it's even better. Yeah, you heard me.
WORSTY: "Why Should I Be Sad," the ballad shoehorned onto the end of the album about her feelings of betrayal over L'affaire K-Fed. Compared to her early ballads it's not bad, but just doesn't work on this album.
BEST UNRELEASED SINGLE: "Radar." On my radar on my radar on my radar on my radar! So good.

And here's her the first single, "Womanizer," from her upcoming album, Circus.

Have I overlooked anything?

(This post was my ode to Patrick Bateman.)

OK that took more time than I'd like to admit, and I am hella late for bed now but come on guys, Britney! Learn to love her!
And no that wasn't outside the scope of this blog. It's about albums I listened to IN AUSTRALIA.

Shut up. Enjoy this last photo.

I had to run into the middle of traffic during rush hour and chase after the bus to get it, but of course you agree that it was worth the risk. This ad always brings a smile to my face. I'm sort of like the teddy bear in the lower right-hand corner.

I'm a happy little Vegemite!

2008-10-20T21:37:00.002+11:00

The theme of this post is "recent developments."

- As of tomorrow morning at ungodly o'clock (9 AM), I am once again employed. I thought I'd be relieved and ecstatic. Instead I'm just cranky about having to wake up early. I choose to think that this speaks well of my level of emotional stability. I would say that my roommates, on the other hand, are relieved and ecstatic that I will be able to continue to pay rent.

- My beloved Boston Red Sox have been eliminated from contention. This is painful. (No, really!) However, I grudgingly admit that Boston sports fans have been spoiled lately and yadda yadda. And it's been exciting to watch the emergence of the Rays as a new power in the American League East, so I hope they win it all. One nice thing about having been unemployed for over three weeks(!) is that I got to watch or listen to every single Red Sox playoff game. So that was nice. Of course, nobody I know here cares at all.

- My favorite Australian Idol contestant, Sophie Paterson, was voted off today. For shame, Australia. This means I (we!!) have to listen to the hateful Teale Jakubenko perform at least three more times. And no, he doesn't get a link.

- Having income again should actually be pretty nice. I've been eating a lot of peanut butter & vegemite sandwiches lately. This is meant both literally and metaphorically.

Thank God I'm Here

2008-10-14T19:55:00.000+11:00

I was in the CBD for another interview at another temp firm today, (I am now registered at four), and I decided to go to Macca's for my second, limited-time-only-!, Quarter Pounder with Cheese with Avocado. It wasn't nearly as good as the first one, which was transcendent. I mean, it really transcended the whole McDonald's thing. This one was not transcendent. Sigh. There's nothing like your first love, right?

Anyway, on the way there, I came across three APC's parked in an alley. Since I'm a young man, this was really exciting.

Furthermore: I was up until around 3 AM watching videos of Rebel Wilson on YouTube. My favorite one is this one, in which she improvises a scene as an Australian tourist in Rome.

The Day of the Trippid

2008-10-14T02:10:00.001+11:00

Here I am playing with this cheapy tripod that I got for free. So far so good, but this photo wasn't exactly taken under low light conditions, so it doesn't really demonstrate anything. Actually, everything seems to be at an angle, so it demonstrates that I have not spent much time setting up this very cheap tripod that I got for free.

Some other things worth noting in this picture:

1. Check out my greasy unemployed hair! (Possibly have a job starting Wednesday. Or not. We'll see.)

2. I tidied up my bedroom with Photoshop before posting this. How sad is that? So sad.

Nothing much new to report. I've been staying indoors and subsisting on All-Bran, peanut butter & vegemite sandwiches, and, my culinary specialty, pasta w/sauce straight from the jar, in order to conserve the money that I don't actually have. Also: watching a lot of downloaded episodes of Knight Rider. I did see part one (of seven!) of a fantastic new documentary series on the history of the Aboriginal Australians' interactions with white Australians on SBS, which is conveniently available for viewing online.

Due to this, I now hate all white Australians. In their case it's more like the invisible duffel bag.

I think this building's really cool though:

neither hott nor cold

2008-10-09T19:29:00.001+11:00

This is my "haunted eyes" self-portrait for the MySpace era. Note my traditional ethnic garb.

Some of the view from my balcony.

Some of the view on my balcony.

Sydney is still OK. I am unemployed and my (now ex!) girlfriend cheated on me, but you know, I'm still OK. (An Aussie friend of mine offered to take me on a sympathetic "women are terrible" pub crawl, but I'll tell you just what I told him: I don't blame women for this, I blame Australians.)

The only bad thing about unemployment (it builds character!) is that you have all this free time and yet have to be so careful with spending money. I did splurge and pay $25 so that I could watch all of the MLB playoffs online, and boy have they been great. Boy.

OK, yes, that's boring, but it's important (haha) that I document this whole "living abroad" experience, and that includes my attempts to self-medicate my (surprisingly minor) homesickness. Today I received a telephone call from PayPal in the US enquiring whether it had indeed been me who made some shifty looking transfers between my two PayPal accounts, and I must confess that speaking to that American gentleman gave me a secret thrill.

I also watch the NewsHour with Jim Lehrer every day at 4:30 on the international channel.

I'm really looking forward to working.

But anyway, but OK, here are some things about Australia that are making me homesick:

- the pizza here is unacceptable

That's it right now. I guess I'm doing pretty well.

Oh, I just remembered that there aren't any decent all-you-can-eat buffets here. Maybe I won't stay here forever.

Spider in the House

2008-10-03T01:16:00.002+10:00

First off, I hope you all realize that the title of this post is not boring and literal, but rather a clever reference to the classic 1989 Gary Busey horror-thriller Hider in the House.

So, look at this very big spider that was in my house! Behold it! I beheld it myself earlier today and called my Australian girlfriend in a bit of a panic to try to ascertain whether or not it was dangerous. (Because if it was dangerous I'd have to do something about it. If not, I could just turn the light off and pretend I'd never seen it.) Based on my description she said that it was probably a huntsman spider. Wikipedia indicates that it's a brown huntsman spider.

She said that it was perfectly safe, so I took some photos of it. I was working on taking a photo of it next to my hand, for a sense of scale, when she mentioned that I shouldn't go too near it if it was on the wall, because "it will jump on you."

Then she raised the possibility that it might walk across my face while I'm sleeping. And that for each one I saw, there were probably twenty that I couldn't see. Also she said that, based on my description, it wasn't very big, and that some can get as large as dinner plates.

They are poisonous, and can deliver a "locally painful bite" to any human who handles them carelessly.

What a country.

ad + cat

2008-09-16T20:02:00.000+10:00

I love this billboard, but can't remember what it's advertising.

My hottest flatmate.

Day After Bloodsucking Day

2008-09-16T19:59:00.000+10:00

I moved to a new apartment in large part for the commute via ferry.

It's a great start to my day and gets me at work bright and early, with plenty of time to buy my daily $3 brekkie toastie. Yummie.

Working is not as inspiring as commuting.

Photo not by me.

2008-09-08T00:26:00.000+10:00

This place had nice garlic bread.

Blue & Gold

2008-09-08T00:23:00.000+10:00

Badde Manors Cafe, Glebe.

This guy really loves Subway.

Possibly the saddest example of damning with faint praise that I've ever seen. Why pay $50 to see the Australian Chamber Orchestra when I can spend two dollars on a vitamin drink? Pow! The reviewer should have just said "this is pretty exciting, by the standards of classical music, which, by the way, I hate."

No Future

2008-08-24T11:02:00.001+10:00

Here's the video I recorded at the contemporary art museum. From my description on YouTube:

From the 2008 Sydney Biannale, this installation by Swiss artist Christoph Buchel, entitled "No Future," consists of four women in their eighties rehearsing the song "God Save The Queen" by the Sex Pistols.

Oh man I need to work on my writing.

aussie aussie aussie

2008-08-24T03:01:00.000+10:00

Revolutions

2008-08-24T02:53:00.000+10:00

This is a photo of a real, live dead horse hung from the ceiling at the 2008 Sydney Biannale. It was one of the three great things I saw there. (Yeah, I know, terrible photo. Used the wrong settings. I AM STILL LEARNING, OK?) The second best thing I saw there I recorded as video and am currently uploading to YouTube. I'll make a post about it tomorrow.

The best thing I saw there was a collection of photography by Miroslav Tichý, who I am in love with despite that fact that most of his photos seem to be voyeuristic photos of half-naked women. But wow are his photos beautiful.

Good Times, Bad Photos

2008-08-24T02:38:00.000+10:00

Bendy Em performing at Circular Quay. She was great. I gave her way too much money, but at the same time I almost threw up at various points in her act, so I guess it was worth it.

I got these at Pancakes on the Rocks. They were interesting, but never again am I getting pancakes with ice cream on top. Gah.

Crappy photo but: two slobby looking fellas eating Subway while sitting on a very handsome dining room table for sale at an outdoor market.

A family is descended upon by a flock of seagulls while trying to eat their Macca's at Circular Quay. It, of course, reminded me of The Birds. Please note the gull on top of the stroller.

Um.

Pram.

two drunk Alexes

2008-08-24T02:29:00.000+10:00

I don't know why I didn't post this picture earlier. It's a few weeks old. I think it's fantastic. Full disclosure: I photoshopped a zit off of my face in this one. Sorry guys, I really am trying to keep it real here.

JP2(?)

2008-08-24T02:27:00.000+10:00

Royal Botanic Gardens(?)

2008-08-24T02:23:00.000+10:00

I love the expression on this statue of a boxer. I'm a bit perplexed by his stance though. His feet are very far apart, and he's leaning back, which is bad if someone comes at him as he has nowhere to go. Especially with his feet like that. Also: what is going on with his arms? But the important thing here is the expression on his face, which is solid gold.

I'm trying to look sad here, but it didn't really work.

I'm actually having a great time in this great land.

Argh, I hate how often my sentences start with "I." And most of these pictures are not that great. I know that now. I'm going to start consulting the histogram more often while shooting, and also I'm going to stop fucking around with that low-light setting unless it's truly low light. (I have plans for the future.)

WATCH THE FUCK OUT

2008-08-15T00:54:00.002+10:00

I spotted this fantastic warning sticker on the side of a handicapable van.

Repulsion

2008-08-03T23:50:00.001+10:00

Today I finally made it over to the Chauvel Cinema, for a Roman Polanski double feature. (Cul-de-sac and Repulsion.) Both were wonderful and such such such a needed change from all the superhero dreck I've been seeing. The Chauvel itself was nicer than I'd expected, and I'm really looking forward to going back there. I'm looking forward to the Touch of Evil and The Ladykillers double feature, and the re-release of The Big Red One. I am also interested in seeing Heaven's Gate, which I have heard nothing but terrible things about.

After the movies, I decided to walk back to the CBD and take the bus home from there. It was a lovely walk. (See tree pictured below.)

I've been here for two months now, and so far I'm happy with the decision. In some ways it's been hard, (I am terrible at meeting people), but it's been really helpful to observe myself in a foreign (n.p.i.) situation and discover more about the person, I am absent the habits (rut) that I'd been in back home. For one thing, I love repertory movie theaters.

Four more years!

2008-08-03T23:01:00.001+10:00

Here are some pictures from a trip to visit some friends in the bush. Contrary to their protestations, the Australian dream is pretty much identical to the American dream, except that the suburbs to which they yearn to retreat are slightly more rural in nature.
(PUN INTENDED.)

Riding the train.

Grocery shopping. I like this photo, despite its being horribly washed out, because it reminds me of nature photography of animals in their natural habitat. But wait! One of the creatures has spotted the camera!

These guys have a complicated relationship.

Nothing is so terrible as being awoken by a Pomeranian. Absolutely nothing.

More WYD detritus

2008-08-03T22:49:00.000+10:00

Fireworks for il papa, as viewed from my backyard and photographed sans tripod, if you couldn't tell.

This shot goes with my last post, about chanting Europeans on the bus. Here you can see them first streaming aboard. Not pictured is the sinking feeling in my stomach.

This picture could have been amazing, but I wasted two minutes going back and forth as to whether or not I had time to take it before the bus I was on pulled away, so the only shot I got off isn't so great. The key thing in this scene is the little boy's reading material: Zoo Weekly. (Not super safe for work.)

In defense of Americans

2008-07-20T22:32:00.002+10:00

OK, look. I understand that a lot of people around the world just don't like Americans, and I can't really blame them. Not that I dislike Americans, (God's chosen people), but there are always plenty of good reasons to dislike anything, and I would never begrudge anyone the pleasure of bagging out Americans.

I can even sympathize. Within a week or so of my being here, in the midst of a pleasant trip to the zoo, my Aussie friends and I were surrounded by pack of young Americans. They were loud and stupid and made me feel ashamed. (The highlight: one young man, upon seeing some copulating crickets in an insect display yelling out "HEY GUYS! LOOK! THEY'RE DOING IT!")

I digress. There are plenty of great reasons to hate on us, BUT. But but but. I would like to state a couple of facts in defense of the ugly American. Facts that I learned, nay, facts which were impressed upon me while trapped in a bus packed full of World Youth Day pilgrims from Europe.

They are as follows:

- Americans are not big chanters. Especially outside of sporting events. Especially on buses. I can pretty much guarantee that a bus you are riding, in the middle of the day, will never become packed with Americans chanting about the pope. As a general rule, when we all talk at the same time we are all saying different things.

- Noisemakers. Unless we're talking AIRHORNS, we Americans generally outgrow our fascination with noisemakers sometime around our twelfth birthday. Not so with my German and Portuguese busmates! I bore personal witness to just how far behind American know-how has fallen when it comes to mastery of techniques using simple balloons to generate loud, annoying sounds. Blame our service economy, I guess.

My kingdom for an airhorn.

Laundry Day

2008-07-13T18:35:00.000+10:00

This is spray painted on the walkway leading to the mall. It's been there for at least a month. I've distorted the contrast to make it more clearly legible.

CBD, CT'D

2008-07-12T01:48:00.000+10:00

CBD, SVP

2008-07-12T01:44:00.000+10:00

I bless the rains down in McAfrica

2008-07-08T00:04:00.000+10:00

They sell these dolls in Broadway. This was an epic color correction job (by my very beginner standards) in Photoshop, by the way, given the florescent lighting and layer of glass between them and the camera. Probably my most successful use of an advanced Photoshop feature yet, in life. I do it all for you. And me.

This is the McAfrica. It was better than the McAmerica, but not as good as food.

I played around with the reds in this one a lot, trying to increase the contrast between the reds of the packaging and the red of the tomato. I think it kind of got away from me. Unsharp Mask really brings out those sesame seeds.

Downtown

2008-07-07T23:54:00.000+10:00

Gleebe

2008-07-07T23:52:00.000+10:00

Glebe is, I think, a really lovely suburb, but it's hard to tell right now as the main street is being renovated. It goes on like this for nearly a mile. Or, um, nearly some kilometers.

Behold, Broadway. It's a really wonderful mall. A mall with it all. Gosh I have so much love in my heart for that place. Australia is really good at malls. Also I went a little wild with the curves and sharpening on this one for more contrast between the top and bottom halves of the picture, plus the mall and the parking lot look a bit like drawings, I believe.

The historic Valhalla Theatre, soon to be an office building. I walk by this pretty much every day.

VALHALLA RETURNS!!! (as an office building) So gross.

The Castle

2008-07-07T23:33:00.000+10:00

For now, this is the apartment building I live in. It's in a suburb called Glebe. It's being partially demolished soon.

Inside the front entrance at daytime, seeing how my camera handles in the dark with no flash.

This is essentially the same picture, but taken at night, again with no flash. Some of the detail was lost because I got a little carried away with the curves. All of the light in the picture came from the little exit sign above the door (see previous photo). Obviously a pretty long exposure.

I look like such a creep.

G'day G'day / G'day G'day

2008-07-07T23:15:00.000+10:00

Hello, friends, and welcome to my Australia blog. Right now the plan is for this blog to consist of photos and writing detailing my experiences as an American spending a year in Australia. The purpose of this blog is to give me an outlet through which to develop my photography, image editing, and writing skills, as well as to cut down on the number of emails I have to send to friends and family back home.

I hope you all love it.

The above picture was taken from the backyard of the house I'm living in. It depicts part of the Anzac bridge as well as some other stuff.

All pictures are taken on my new Sony Cyber-shot DSCW-120. I'm trying to teach myself how to use the Curves tool, so please forgive the unnecessarily heightened contrast on most of these pictures. I've learned that I don't much have an eye for how much contrast is too much.

I have also taken a fancy to the Unsharp Mask filter.

Hm. I guess Blogger shrinks my pictures down and then has you click for the full sized version, so I didn't need to resize these. Higher resolution pictures in the future!

You are loving my blog already, I can just feel it.