it's like a competition, me against the beat

I took this by the QVB (the building in the foreground) while waiting for the bus home the other day. Camera on auto, didn't touch anything in Photoshop (besides resizing it). I think it's the best picture I've taken yet with this camera. Well, maybe first-place tie with that one. But come on! So well-composed!

This is my workplace for the next month. My job is the dullest job of my life, but pretty relaxing. It's a one hour commute (more on that later), and I have some interesting workmates. Within my first 15 minutes of my first day, one of my supervisors told me who I would be having tea and lunch with every day, without any prior consultation from that group. They're all smokers (tea and lunch are also their smoke breaks), and are among the younger people who work there. I am still the youngest of the group, though.

Only two of them work in my department. (Accounts.) On day one, I was sitting with the two I knew when the others showed up. One of them is pretty much the most fearsome cougar ever. She walked up to me, stared me down, and asked "who's this?" I introduced myself, offered my hand to shake, and smiled. She gripped my hand tightly and stared at me.

"You have sexy teeth. You could be my boyfriend. . ."

She wouldn't let go of my hand for a while. Honestly, if the genders were reversed I would not feel safe alone in the company parking lot at night. She said she's going to "dress up for [me] tomorrow." Yikes.

In other funny work news: I was 90 minutes late to work today! Like I said, my commute is normally an hour long. That's assuming I get on the right bus. I did not get on the right bus. I wound up in the middle of nowhere, well outside of Sydney, and ended up having to cut across the campus of a university I've never even heard of to look for a bus that would take me to work. I'm mostly annoyed because I'll have to come to work late again on Friday so that I can pick up my absentee ballot and vote Obama way.

The ballot is in a package being held for me at the post office. They will not deliver it. I have to pick it up. The post office is open from 9 to 5, Monday through Friday. Hey, guess when I work. (And remember that I work an hour away from my post office).

This is by far the stupidest thing about Australia.

One last thing, and then it's (waaaay past) bedtime:

So the night before last I could only sleep for about an hour and a half of sleep (don't know why), so the next day (first day of work!) I had lots of bad ideas. One of them, (actually a fantastic idea), was to download the entire discography of Britney Spears in preparation for her new album's imminent release. Which I did. So today at work I listened to Britney's entire oeuvre. Here are my thoughts on it, with links to music videos wherever possible:

(my plan was for this section of the post to be way more detailed, but come on, it's so late!)

1. ...Baby One More Time

This is by far her worst album, and I can't imagine wanting to ever listen to it again. "...Baby One More Time" is, of course, a great and classic pop song (though honestly I am STILL unclear on what the central metaphor (hitting) represents), and the cowbell hook in "(You Drive Me) Crazy" is absolutely brilliant. The rest of the songs are by and large terrible.

BEST SONG WE ALL KNOW: "...Baby One More Time." Come on. None of us youngsters is going to forget those opening three piano chords as long as we live. Because they are so awesome.
SPECIAL SCORN: "E-Mail My Heart" worst song on an album of terrible songs. As bad as the title indicates.
HIDDEN GEM: the completely kooky "The Beat Goes On," which is now in my "happy" playlist. Best Britney cover ever. It's all downhill from here on Britney covers.

2. Oops! ...I Did It Again

This album, specifically the title track, is the first in which Britney really starts to develop the public persona she wanted to project. It is also the last Britney album whose title includes punctuation. Good call. (Virgin/Whore.) Still a pretty virginal album. Fun note: you probably all know that Britney has claimed that the "she's rich but WHY DO THESE TEARS COME AT NIGHT" song "Lucky" is not actually about her. What you may not know is that a short skit precedes the song on the album trying to convince us further that the song's not about her. W/E. We all saw her with that umbrella and know the truth. Oh also, this album introduces the theme of Britney basically rerecording the same song with a slightly different melody and trying to pass it off as new. Most egregious is "What U See (Is What U Get)," which is identical to "...Baby One More Time," only not.

BEST SINGLE: It's got to be the title track. Not that it's a great song, even by Britney standards, but the lyrics are actually pretty good and, as the Richard Thompson interpretation reveals, pretty dark.
WORST SONG: I'm going to shock you all and NOT select the very misguided cover of "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction." The verses are atrocious, but the chorus is a reasonably interesting interpretation, I think. Worst song honors go to "Girl In The Mirror." A treacly ballad about how sad "the girl in my mirror" is. And at first you're like "ooh, clever metaphor." But then it's like 3/4 through and she's all "and that girl is me!!!!!" and you're like "oh jesus, duh." Just sad. Also, like most (all) early Britney ballads, the song is terrible.
SONG DESERVING OF MORE LOVE: OK, I picked a ballad for this one. A cheesy ballad. But I'm going with "Heart." In which Britney sings a reassuring song to her aching heart. I thought it was really sweet.

3. Britney

The first modern Britney album, in which the balance of her persona finally, inevitably, shifts from "virgin" to "whore." (You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.) As an album a definite improvement from Oops! ...I Did It Again, but her best work is yet to come.

OVEREXPOSED BECAUSE IT'S AWESOME: "I'm A Slave 4 U." The album's only other single that I remember is "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman." So this one's pretty easy despite the awful central metaphor here. (Slavery? Really?)
SO BAD IT'S BAD: This goes to "Bombastic Love," which is basically the usual Britney mid-tempo dance thing, but with just the goofiest faux-Disney chorus ever. Which does not really fit into that classic Britney format. Wait. Ugh. Nevermind. OF COURSE it's the "I Love Rock & Roll" cover. That song is like Exhibit A of "Britney hates Rock & Roll."
THE SLEEPER: This is a tough one. This album is not very memorable. I'll go with "Overprotected," which is sort of boilerplate early-Britney mid-tempo dancey. Not that hot.

4. In The Zone

Probably my favorite Britney album, though I've only listened through it two or three times at this point. Britney perfects her character (pre troubles), takes more control of the writing and production, and puts out her strongest individual songs ever. (Note: this was released right before Madonna sucked the life from her at the MTV Music Awards, precipitating her downfall.)

BEST BRITNEY SINGLE EVER: "Everytime." Yeah. You heard me. Not "Toxic." Not that I don't love "Toxic," but it's not a song that I ever really feel a need to listen to nowadays. "Everytime," on the other hand, totally made me tear up a bit once. (NOTE: I WAS ALREADY VERY DEPRESSED.) Anyway I know I don't like her ballads, and this song is sooo far away from her strengths, but boy is it fine. Plus the sensitive youth routine is so much more effective in the context of her newer, more mature, songs as opposed to uh, "E-Mail My Heart." SHE'S WORLD-WEARY, guys!
BLOWIEST BULLSHIT: Best album, easiest choice. "Brave New Girl." Bad rapping, lame attitude, confusing, unmemorable melody, awful lyrics, and, oh yeah, it's titled "Brave New Girl." Seriously this rapping is like, nearly sub-Debbie-Harry-in-"Rapture" level.
MY SECRET LUVR: OK, I almost went with "The Hook Up," because it's got Britney singing in a bad Jamaican accent and also saying "bump ya rump, na," (so good), but I'm going with the mellowed out dance tune "Breathe On Me." I am putting it in a different playlist right now.

5. Blackout

This was the album that Britney released after dying her hair black and going crazy. It's a shame that the dominant story at the time was "Britney's insane!," because everybody just ignored how good the album was since it didn't fit the storyline. To rip-off some other commentary I read, this is her most cohesive album, with the songs all sharing sharing a style (all dance! except for one shitty ballad at the end!) and a pretty uniform level of (high) quality. Even the really goofy stuff (haha, "Toy Soldier,") fits right in there. Also a notable album as she's clearly trying to damage control for her spiralling-out-of-control public image that is increasingly casting doubt on the veracity of her previous persona, and just failing miserably. For example, in "Piece Of Me" she claims that the reason everyone's down on her lately is because she's a working mother. Yikes.

SINGLE OF MY HEART: "Piece Of Me." My favorite Britney song for a while, and probably her most autobiographical, complete with sad delusion. And yet more self-conscious than one might expect. Same producers on this song as "Toxic," and I think it's even better. Yeah, you heard me.
WORSTY: "Why Should I Be Sad," the ballad shoehorned onto the end of the album about her feelings of betrayal over L'affaire K-Fed. Compared to her early ballads it's not bad, but just doesn't work on this album.
BEST UNRELEASED SINGLE: "Radar." On my radar on my radar on my radar on my radar! So good.


And here's her the first single, "Womanizer," from her upcoming album, Circus.

Have I overlooked anything?


(This post was my ode to Patrick Bateman.)



OK that took more time than I'd like to admit, and I am hella late for bed now but come on guys, Britney! Learn to love her!
And no that wasn't outside the scope of this blog. It's about albums I listened to IN AUSTRALIA.

Shut up. Enjoy this last photo.

I had to run into the middle of traffic during rush hour and chase after the bus to get it, but of course you agree that it was worth the risk. This ad always brings a smile to my face. I'm sort of like the teddy bear in the lower right-hand corner.